Day 122

What's the best mistake that you've ever made?

All because I took the wrong train, I made the best mistake of my entire life.

I've been on the road to recovery ever since my first concert of the year. Things were actually looking up - I finally got an income from my new job, my health was at its best at that time this year, and the severity of ruminating on my past hit less and less hard. After finding landmarks in NYC, I decided to plan another trip with the funds I earned from my job. My next trip was to Corona Park, a public park with a globe landmark. I was expecting to lay low with a simple walk in the park. Little did I know that this trip would get influenced by the best mistake I've made all year.

On the way, I was thinking a lot about my elimination from eSports that season. I've never been the best at taking loss and it took all of my focus along the way. But all I had to do was take the 1 train and transfer to the E train. En route, the train suddenly stopped and malfunctioned, leaving us all stuck for about an hour. It didn't help that I realized the train was going the wrong way. By the time the train went on, I just decided to figure the rest of the day out from the last stop on the E train. The World Trade Center. Not what I was expecting, but let's see what happens.

Once I left the station, I was immediately floored. I came across this fountain ingraved with the victims of the September 11 attacks. There was a scenic line of buildings lined up, giving it a strong city vibe, another building with reflecting glass windows, and the World Trade Center itself was the first time that I had seen it in person. Today, the building is known as the Freedom Tower. I had this feeling of humbleness for around 2 hours. For the longest time, I felt so incessive about my loses that I lost the bigger picture of everything. My perspective changed about everything in one environment. I've been victimizing myself when the fountain in front of me demonstrated real loss with each name engraved on the fountain, every flower left in honor of the fallen, and everyone around me remembering the tragic event. But what really got to me was how beautiful the area was. I knew what the area of the World Trade Center looked like after the September 11 attacks, and it was a devastating sight. And to know that this sight before me used to be the remains of a trademark loss inspired me. Had the people of the city been ruminating about this loss like I have, these building remains would still be here, nothing would change, and these beautiful structures before me would never be built. Being in the site was like the best medicine you can find that you can’t overdose on.

It’s something out of a movie, like a surreal one-in-a-million moment that taking the wrong train to the last stop took me to this one specific artifact out of the rest of NYC. The World Trade Center also happened to be the building that I was referencing prior in Recovery, which made the journey feel like it was supposed to be for me. Across the area was a church that I wandered to; as always something just told me to venture here. At the very front of the church was a bell with a message that will be ingrained in my mind for a very long time.
This bell was the Bell of Hope. It was made to be rung every September 11 in honor of the tragedy that occurred.
On the plate was a marker with one of the most important quotes I've heard and the heartfelt reason as to why the bell is rung.

Hope over tragedy.

After leaving the area, I found myself back at Washington Square Park, the empty fountain turned skating rink had become a fully working fountain, making a beautiful scenery for the sunny day. And the closer I got, the more visible was this rainbow spawning from the fountain. It was such a sight to see that I lost track of time staying by the edge of the water. Eventually, I stepped into the fountain compelled for the experience. After stepping out, it felt as though all the tragedy behind me had been cured away. I went to sleep that night feeling healthier than I ever thought I could be. And the next day, I thought not of my prior life in Albany, but of the great day I had in this new life.